From April 11 to April 19 I was back in the psych ward at Provena Mercy. What caused it was my continuing inability to cope with stress and change. I was faced with something big and responded not with my logical mind but with a complete breakdown of coping skills. I threatened to kill myself, took some pills, cut myself. This is embarrassing stuff because I'm 41 years old and I should know how to handle those things. Apparently those skills need sharpening.
The 8 day stay did a lot for me, though. On a new medication (along with all the stuff I was already taking) that helps with the voices and hallucinations. I was able to think and cry and do whatever I needed to in order to get myself stable again. Helped me evaluate who/what is important to me.
I am lucky to have Kathrine. She has held me up for about 5 months now, at great cost and stress to her. I owe her so much. I enjoy her company, and I appreciate her aid, which includes getting on my ass when I slack, get discouraged, get lazy, etc.
As I stated it's been about 5 months since the separation. I feel as if I'm coming along, but I'm coming along slowly. I am still grieving the loss of my family, and that grief seems eternal. I'll never get over the loss of my family. I suppose I can learn to live with it but I don't see how I will ever get over it.
I'm cutting this short as I don't have much to say today, but I wanted to get an entry posted. Hoping I can get back to semi-daily posting.
The 8 day stay did a lot for me, though. On a new medication (along with all the stuff I was already taking) that helps with the voices and hallucinations. I was able to think and cry and do whatever I needed to in order to get myself stable again. Helped me evaluate who/what is important to me.
I am lucky to have Kathrine. She has held me up for about 5 months now, at great cost and stress to her. I owe her so much. I enjoy her company, and I appreciate her aid, which includes getting on my ass when I slack, get discouraged, get lazy, etc.
As I stated it's been about 5 months since the separation. I feel as if I'm coming along, but I'm coming along slowly. I am still grieving the loss of my family, and that grief seems eternal. I'll never get over the loss of my family. I suppose I can learn to live with it but I don't see how I will ever get over it.
I'm cutting this short as I don't have much to say today, but I wanted to get an entry posted. Hoping I can get back to semi-daily posting.
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