While I have yet to decide whether to be more of an asshole or less of an asshole, I have mentally made some resolutions. I am also wise enough to know most will either fail or be forgotten. So I am putting on my Danny Sheridan hat and laying odds on the success of my resolutions.
NOTE: These odds are for entertainment purposes only. My Psychotropic Hayride does not condone gambling, but it does encourage other self-destructive behavior like sex addiction, and child-rearing.
BE A BETTER FATHER AND HUSBAND: 5/4 Hard to be any worse than I was in 2009
GET A JOB: 10/2
READ MORE: 25/1 I did improve in 2009. Hope for more improvement but must be realistic.
PLAY FEWER VIDEOGAMES 250/1 Not gonna happen. But XBOX could Red Ring....
LOSE WEIGHT: 15/2 The meds help that. If I get a job then the odds are better here.
BECOME MORE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE: 5/1 This really has to happen, but it's tough. Even if I improve 20% that'll help.
NOT FALL FOR ANOTHER CUBS "THIS IS THE YEAR" THING: 8/2
KEEP ALL MY FISH ALIVE: 13/1
WRITE A SHORT STORY: 75/1
WRITE AT LEAST 5 PAGES OF MY NOVEL: 300/1
CLEAN THE BASEMENT: 30/1
LOOK AT LESS INTERNET PORN: 2/5 Seriously, now....LOL...
GO BACK TO SCHOOL: 3/2 This has to happen.
THREATEN TO KILL PEOPLE LESS: 14/1
THREATEN TO KILL SELF LESS: 8/1
THREATEN TO JOIN ZOMBIE SIDE WHEN ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BEGINS LESS: 150/1
THREATEN TO MOVE TO CANADA LESS: 6/4
WEAR UNDERWEAR MORE: 7/1
BE LESS OCD ABOUT FEET/HANDS: 99/3 Chosen because 99 dives evenly by 3
BUY FLAT SCREEN TV AND MOVE INTO MODERN AGE: 5/4 Job=TV
BE ALIVE AT END OF 2010: 10/9 I'm too much a bastard to die.
NOTE: These odds are for entertainment purposes only. My Psychotropic Hayride does not condone gambling, but it does encourage other self-destructive behavior like sex addiction, and child-rearing.
BE A BETTER FATHER AND HUSBAND: 5/4 Hard to be any worse than I was in 2009
GET A JOB: 10/2
READ MORE: 25/1 I did improve in 2009. Hope for more improvement but must be realistic.
PLAY FEWER VIDEOGAMES 250/1 Not gonna happen. But XBOX could Red Ring....
LOSE WEIGHT: 15/2 The meds help that. If I get a job then the odds are better here.
BECOME MORE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE: 5/1 This really has to happen, but it's tough. Even if I improve 20% that'll help.
NOT FALL FOR ANOTHER CUBS "THIS IS THE YEAR" THING: 8/2
KEEP ALL MY FISH ALIVE: 13/1
WRITE A SHORT STORY: 75/1
WRITE AT LEAST 5 PAGES OF MY NOVEL: 300/1
CLEAN THE BASEMENT: 30/1
LOOK AT LESS INTERNET PORN: 2/5 Seriously, now....LOL...
GO BACK TO SCHOOL: 3/2 This has to happen.
THREATEN TO KILL PEOPLE LESS: 14/1
THREATEN TO KILL SELF LESS: 8/1
THREATEN TO JOIN ZOMBIE SIDE WHEN ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BEGINS LESS: 150/1
THREATEN TO MOVE TO CANADA LESS: 6/4
WEAR UNDERWEAR MORE: 7/1
BE LESS OCD ABOUT FEET/HANDS: 99/3 Chosen because 99 dives evenly by 3
BUY FLAT SCREEN TV AND MOVE INTO MODERN AGE: 5/4 Job=TV
BE ALIVE AT END OF 2010: 10/9 I'm too much a bastard to die.
Comments
Post a Comment
COMPLIMENTS ACCEPTED, INSULTS WELCOMED, STUPIDITY ENCOURAGED